Requiem for a Dream

Time and tide wait for no man; you are no exception. Part dream, part nightmare, you’re not living the life you wanted, you’re living what was given. Failure, disappointment, and regret taint your story, the horizon rapidly approaching. In the blink of an eye, yours is half told; exquisite gifts wasted, prime years not tasted. The irony is, you still have time.

Little Erik, if only you knew what lay ahead; incomprehensible doesn’t begin to describe. You’re going to soar into the heavens before being struck down to hell. Life will tease caviar then serve gruel. Feats of magnificence are slaughtered by the injurious cruel. You’ll live a one step forward, two steps back existence but strangely, you’ll find comfort in the challenge. Endowed with tremendous gifts, you’ll tantalise potential, the tragedy being a glimpse is all it’ll ever be. Don’t let that discourage, there’s gallantry in the attempt. Above all else, never compromise on staying true to yourself; you weren’t born to be prosaic and tame–you become infinitely more than you could have ever dreamed.

The mystery of life is a question you’ll contemplate early and often. In adulthood, you’re no closer to an answer but that’s beside the point. All too often, the destination will seduce, the journey an under-weighted purse. Part sanctuary, part prison, your room isolates. Your curiosity must roam yet sadly, experience anchors at home. You’ll understand much then learn you know little; this is true wisdom. Some days life is black and others white but don’t be foolish, it shades millions. Like a termite to wood, your infection is perfection. Sparked by a flicker, your competitive flame fans. With ferocious intent, an inferno will rage, injury its only known retardant. Fanatical zeal driving self-belief proves definitive, revealed as a decisive trait. The resilient boy becomes a resolute man, faith in yourself challenged but never lost. Erik, you’re going to surprise and terribly disappoint but importantly, you’ll never die wondering. No matter the odds, trying and competing becomes you. Perhaps therein the lesson lies–live life.

There’s an incontrovertible truth you cannot escape: you need people. Prone to self-absorption, hubris drives and deprives. It will inspire tremendous feats then polarise on the streets. Have the humility to realise in your story, you’re the hero, in someone else’s, the villain. While there’s comfort in command, loosen control, trust in others, and accept offers of guidance and help. Invest in people, for relationships deliver untold rewards. Value close family, lasting friendships, and loyalty for each, is a source of power and a favour in life. Disturbingly, Judas stalks–you’ll never see him coming. This betrayal, for better or worse, mutilates you. It strips you of naivety, forcing you to acknowledge and accept a sobering realisation: see the world as it is, not as you wish it would be. What does this mean? Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Of all the mistakes you’ll make, your attitude toward romantic interests repels. At best, it’s infantile, at worst, disrespectful. You’ll become so fixated on achieving your goals, to the exclusion of love, you leave no room for women–an egregious error in judgement. Life isn’t just about you, it’s a vibrant albeit chaotic creation, one filled with idiosyncratic individuals, most doing the best they can; make room for the ladies who express interest in sharing it.

Despite people’s best attempts, there’s no one box you neatly nestle into. Stereotypes do an admirable job but your personality is rich with inquisitive intent, your interests varied and wide. Don’t distil others to one characteristic or trait, it’s dangerously myopic. Like you, people are rich and complex, filled with hidden histories, divergent beliefs, peculiar interests, unique abilities, and personal hopes and dreams. Open your eyes and clear your ears, everyone is an opportunity to learn–everyone. You’ll be typecast as just an athlete but privately, you’ll feed your intellectual curiosity, feasting on the grandiose and minute. You’ll luxuriate in the arts–literature, cinema, and music, explosions of colour set against the dark. You don’t fit in because you grow up in a parallel world, one seasoned with the Balkan spice of life. As maturity takes hold, you’ll come to appreciate the emigration endowment your grandparents bestowed, leviathans who suffered so theirs could boom. Imagine yourself in their position–travellers venturing into the unknown.

Erik, the world doesn’t owe you a thing. As your dreams crater and career crumbles, radioactivity your souvenir, juvenile notions escape you, steeled by the cold light of day. It’s in moments of darkness where you truly shine–resilience the sweeter cousin of success. The stubborn reality is your body will shatter, your mind will bend but never, does your spirit break. Don’t turn from emotion, suppression is progression oppression. Evolution fissured our genus, motivating humans with the capability to divine art, build cities, and tour the moon, so sharpen your mind, heightened intelligence priceless in prize. Give pause to considered thought but don’t let reason rule; the child within must revel in spontaneous delight. What society holds up as a man, it’s a facade, a spectre silhouetted against the night; embrace this awakening. The unexplainable and inexplicable weave their cryptic ways but take solace in the fact, sometimes, things need not make sense.

The fact you were born is the miracle of life. Savour that realisation young Erik; it’s more precious than you know.